one of the things i like about this blog is that i know that no one reads it. i know thats kindof counterintuitive. normally the goals of a blogger are to have as many eyes peruse it as possible but knowing that my audience is extremely limited allows me to say whatever the hell i want with no repercussions.
i would rather have a mug of hot tea and a pound of granola than witness the second coming of christ.
see? no repercussions. its wonderful.
so today has been delightfully uninteresting so far.
i woke up to an old man telling me todays happenings in syria (npr is my alarm clock. i dont have an newsworthy old man on retainer. although that is something to look into) and then beat my poor clock senseless to get that extra thirty minutes of zzz. then i looked in the mirror and freaked myself out due to the crazy sleep wrinkles on my face. i swear, sleeping stomach-side down is going to age me faster than cigarette smoking and time.
i contemplated skiving off class because fuck school. amirite? imrite. but i sucked it up like a black hole and drove the thirty minutes to my commuter escuela, got a venti earl gray and made my way up to my empty classroom. wait. pause. rewind. play. yes thats right. empty classroom. my early western civ teacher decided to cut class. cue sleepy celebration right? right. then i got a call from my developmental psych prof telling me that he had called out on my noon class. cue super celebration! then i realized i had driven an hour total to get to school where no classes were taking place.
let me reiterate: fuck school.
so now im at otripp meandering back and forth from completing assignments to brutally murdering time. writing class, youve met your overachieving match. mindy kaling's blog and kelly oxford's tumblr and stumbleupon youve met your next willing victim. seriously though, i could spend hours looking at all the fantastically caloric recipes on stumble. i mean french toast pancakes HELLO?
soon ill have to stop recklessly brutalizing my free time and get down to real work. such as my required reading of "the prince" by machiavelli. i bet its gonna be full of hoity toity renaissance writing that i have to read four times before i grasp the overdramatic meaning. im totally thrilled? no. wait. im not.
alright im done with my meaningless rambles.
HA. like that statement will ever ring true with me.
good thing no one has to listen to it AMIRITE?
yes. yes i am.
Monday, November 7, 2011
Sunday, October 30, 2011
knock knock
my brother and i have an interesting sense of humor.
let this excerpt from our text conversation prove it to you.
let this excerpt from our text conversation prove it to you.
brendan: want to hear a really offensive joke?
me: always.
brendan: knock knock.
me: come in.
brendan: nine eleven.
me: i changed my mind. door’s locked now.
brendan: *walks away. goes next door. knocks.*
brendan: knock knock.
me: shes at spinning class till eleven. come back then.
brendan: *goes to bowling alley. plays skeeball. checks watch. 1045. goes back to house. knocks.
brendan: knock knock.
brendan: *no answer. huffs. puffs. blows the door down. finds homeowner. grabs by the shirt. stares
into her eyes*
brendan: knock knock.
me: *sirens blare* sir, let go of that woman and put your hands over your head. have you had anything to drink this evening?
brendan: yes officer, im on PCP. *throws cop through wall*
me: backup! I need backup! weve got a 1014 here, white male, early twenties, under the influence of illegal narcotics. suspect assaulted an officer and a civilian. theres blood everywhere, its everywhere! OH MY GOD!
brendan: *rips off shirt. does backflip. punches self in the face. picks up homeowner. flees the scene. goes to hidden cave. sets homeowner down.*
brendan: knock knock.
me: there are no doors in caves.
brendan: *knocks down tree. builds door. knocks twice.*
me: in the meantime, the woman has run out of the cave screaming for help and finds two deer hunters in the woods. guns in full view, they escort her back to their cell phones before driving away, most likely to the nearest denny’s.
brendan: just answer the damn knock knock joke!!
me: hahahahaha
brendan: knock knock…
me: your knuckles must be sore by now.
me: fine. ill bite. whos there.
brendan: *holds up severed hand that hes been knocking with the whole time..*
me: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! *camera zooms in on tonsils*
Monday, October 10, 2011
its good to be back
today is the day.
no its not the first day of the rest of my life, nor is it the "day your dreams come true" (gaston from BATB i really hope you got that.)
today is the day that rehearsals begin. cue happy heart palpatations.
thats right ladies and gents, this chica is gonna be back on stage! if you remember my previous sappy post about missing the shiznit out of some stage lights, you could begin to grasp how happy my return to theater is making me. for those who arent completely familiar with my past, i used to be a theater kid. thats right, i was THAT girl. the girl who would willingly stay after school for four plus hours on a daily just to run around on stage while regurgitating lines that someone else wrote and belting showtunes that have been around for decades. that was my passion, my niche and it made me fly. after graduation, i decided for some reason that theater was a stupid passion to have and that instead of nurturing this hobby, i should discard it and only think of it on the rare occasion. this plan was not well thought out and subsequently i became super sad due to a lack of interesting pasttime. for some reason, it took me a good two years and a swift kick in the pants by my darling sister for me to realize that my theater amputation was not good for me and i should get off my ass and audition for something. later that same night, i got online and found an audition for the NEXT DAY. cue twilight zone music. call it a coincidence, call it cosmic, i call it cool. so i auditioned the next day, got a callback for the lead role and a week later found out that i got in the show as a chorus role.
BOOMSHAKAFREAKINLAKA
let me just say that im glad theres not a secret video camera in my apartment because there would have been alot of celebratory ass-shaking and whooping footage that could make for some excellent blackmail material.
so fast forward two weeks, and now were here. the first day of rehearsals. ive been dreaming about this day for the past fortnight and i can barely keep my feet from clicking together leprechaun style. tonight, ill start the staging process and meet the rest of the cast, aka my family for the next two and a half months.
so maybe this is the first day of the rest of my life.
maybe it is the day my dreams come true.
maybe its just monday.
whatever it is, it makes me happy.
and its really, really good to be back.
--amandamargaret
no its not the first day of the rest of my life, nor is it the "day your dreams come true" (gaston from BATB i really hope you got that.)
today is the day that rehearsals begin. cue happy heart palpatations.
thats right ladies and gents, this chica is gonna be back on stage! if you remember my previous sappy post about missing the shiznit out of some stage lights, you could begin to grasp how happy my return to theater is making me. for those who arent completely familiar with my past, i used to be a theater kid. thats right, i was THAT girl. the girl who would willingly stay after school for four plus hours on a daily just to run around on stage while regurgitating lines that someone else wrote and belting showtunes that have been around for decades. that was my passion, my niche and it made me fly. after graduation, i decided for some reason that theater was a stupid passion to have and that instead of nurturing this hobby, i should discard it and only think of it on the rare occasion. this plan was not well thought out and subsequently i became super sad due to a lack of interesting pasttime. for some reason, it took me a good two years and a swift kick in the pants by my darling sister for me to realize that my theater amputation was not good for me and i should get off my ass and audition for something. later that same night, i got online and found an audition for the NEXT DAY. cue twilight zone music. call it a coincidence, call it cosmic, i call it cool. so i auditioned the next day, got a callback for the lead role and a week later found out that i got in the show as a chorus role.
BOOMSHAKAFREAKINLAKA
let me just say that im glad theres not a secret video camera in my apartment because there would have been alot of celebratory ass-shaking and whooping footage that could make for some excellent blackmail material.
so fast forward two weeks, and now were here. the first day of rehearsals. ive been dreaming about this day for the past fortnight and i can barely keep my feet from clicking together leprechaun style. tonight, ill start the staging process and meet the rest of the cast, aka my family for the next two and a half months.
so maybe this is the first day of the rest of my life.
maybe it is the day my dreams come true.
maybe its just monday.
whatever it is, it makes me happy.
and its really, really good to be back.
--amandamargaret
Monday, October 3, 2011
im baaaaack
whaddup blogosphere!
saying that "its been a while" may or may not be the understatement of the past couple months. but i do have reasons for my prolonged departure from rambling.
reason 1: my computer got the hiv.
yes its true. my little toshiba is a huge slut. she started hanging out with the limewire crowd and caught a bunch of ITDs (internettualy transmitted diseases) but before you start weeping and trumpteting a heartfelt rendition of "taps" ive got some wonderful news for you..
shes alive!
yes thats right. my computer is jesus.
and god just so happens to be a combination of avast antivirus, a microsoft cd-rom and the IT guy at my old high school. the geeky trinity if you will. so thanks to the almighty, shes up and running! albeit with a slight limp but im not here to judge.
reason 2: i kindof forgot about this thing.
ill wait until youre done gasping. i know its quite a concept to think that i may have actual shit to do on a daily but its true. and for a while, unleashing my unedited thoughts upon the internet slipped to the back of my mind. but now that my computer has resurrected and renounced her slutty ways and ive got untold amounts of energy, i think i may give this blog thing another go.
juuust not tonight. cause im being a procrasti-brat.
heres to another endless supply of nonsense words!
--amandamargaret.
saying that "its been a while" may or may not be the understatement of the past couple months. but i do have reasons for my prolonged departure from rambling.
reason 1: my computer got the hiv.
yes its true. my little toshiba is a huge slut. she started hanging out with the limewire crowd and caught a bunch of ITDs (internettualy transmitted diseases) but before you start weeping and trumpteting a heartfelt rendition of "taps" ive got some wonderful news for you..
shes alive!
yes thats right. my computer is jesus.
and god just so happens to be a combination of avast antivirus, a microsoft cd-rom and the IT guy at my old high school. the geeky trinity if you will. so thanks to the almighty, shes up and running! albeit with a slight limp but im not here to judge.
reason 2: i kindof forgot about this thing.
ill wait until youre done gasping. i know its quite a concept to think that i may have actual shit to do on a daily but its true. and for a while, unleashing my unedited thoughts upon the internet slipped to the back of my mind. but now that my computer has resurrected and renounced her slutty ways and ive got untold amounts of energy, i think i may give this blog thing another go.
juuust not tonight. cause im being a procrasti-brat.
heres to another endless supply of nonsense words!
--amandamargaret.
Friday, May 6, 2011
COFFFEEEEE
its dead week. but contrary to popular belief and the name itself, its alive and kicking. due to my sadistic professors, ive had many assignments and tests this week. i already aced a psychology test, wrote a five page paper on the first amendment, took a map quiz on the entire continent of africa and drank enough coffee to send an elephant into -overcaffeinated-induced cardiac arrest. seriously, my heart is racing like a cheerios-kraft-pepboys-homedepot-viagra racecar.
since im not sure what to do with these next few paragraphs, ill heap/dump my latest obsessions upon your eyes.
roma tomatoes: HOOHHH MHYY GHOOD. so delicious i cant even make english words work. its the most recent installment of "amanda attempts to eat healthy: the adventures of living longer while surviving on eight dollars a week." the previous stars of this series included carrots and apples but since i overobsessed with those fruveggies, the mere thought of them makes me convulse. so on to the next one! but really, dice some mini tomtoms up, drizzle a little evoo and add dashes -- of salt and pepper and youve got a snack to annihilate all other snacks.
scrunching my hair: it looks like i put an absurd amount of time into my girlish appearance when really i put product on it and messy bun it. its the lazy girls way of saying "i care about what i look like but eh not really." i do this on a daily. its wonderful.
coffee: as i mentioned previously, its dead week and the only way to bring a college student back to life is grinding up some of these bitty beans and soaking them in boiling water. mmmm alertness! just to keep my eyes open for an hour, i require a large size panera cup of joseph. am i addicted? maybe. am i going to cut back? not unless i can do day things and sleep at the same time.
something borrowed: this is actually a double meaning. i do enjoy borrowing many somethings from my sisters closet, however the real obsession is the new movie thats coming out today. i dont know if it stems from my lack of romcom viewings or the fact that i havent been to the movie theater going on six months, but every time i watch the tube this freaking trailer is playing and im dying to see it. granted i could do without kate hudson in my life BUT ginnifer goodwin is precious, john krasinski is adorable and that other guy whose name escapes me is hotter than a coal walk. i smell a girls night!
alright its nearing the time where i have to stop waking up and start getting ready. ugh productivity.. so 2007..
--amandamargaret.
since im not sure what to do with these next few paragraphs, ill heap/dump my latest obsessions upon your eyes.
roma tomatoes: HOOHHH MHYY GHOOD. so delicious i cant even make english words work. its the most recent installment of "amanda attempts to eat healthy: the adventures of living longer while surviving on eight dollars a week." the previous stars of this series included carrots and apples but since i overobsessed with those fruveggies, the mere thought of them makes me convulse. so on to the next one! but really, dice some mini tomtoms up, drizzle a little evoo and add dashes -- of salt and pepper and youve got a snack to annihilate all other snacks.
scrunching my hair: it looks like i put an absurd amount of time into my girlish appearance when really i put product on it and messy bun it. its the lazy girls way of saying "i care about what i look like but eh not really." i do this on a daily. its wonderful.
coffee: as i mentioned previously, its dead week and the only way to bring a college student back to life is grinding up some of these bitty beans and soaking them in boiling water. mmmm alertness! just to keep my eyes open for an hour, i require a large size panera cup of joseph. am i addicted? maybe. am i going to cut back? not unless i can do day things and sleep at the same time.
something borrowed: this is actually a double meaning. i do enjoy borrowing many somethings from my sisters closet, however the real obsession is the new movie thats coming out today. i dont know if it stems from my lack of romcom viewings or the fact that i havent been to the movie theater going on six months, but every time i watch the tube this freaking trailer is playing and im dying to see it. granted i could do without kate hudson in my life BUT ginnifer goodwin is precious, john krasinski is adorable and that other guy whose name escapes me is hotter than a coal walk. i smell a girls night!
alright its nearing the time where i have to stop waking up and start getting ready. ugh productivity.. so 2007..
--amandamargaret.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Friday, April 1, 2011
spring stupidity
april 1.
this day incites fear in the gullible and skepticism in the conscious. today is the day where people purposely prank each other for their own amusement. since i love to make others suffer for my own giddy pleasure, this holiday is a pretty good one in my opinion. this year, ive decided to prank my sister by switching the words in microsoft word's autocorrect. classic.
i : The Duchess of York
he : Jesus Christ, the King of Kings and Almighty Savior of the Human Race
she : Fartnugget
the : Quailman
why : why would anyone do this to your computer? im not sure. maybe it has something to do with the fact that today is april 1. that could have something to do with it but honestly who knows..
. : !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mary Kate Coughlin : Kate Middleton
her four page paper should be fun to write after this..
happy april fools, sister!!
-amandamcoughlin
this day incites fear in the gullible and skepticism in the conscious. today is the day where people purposely prank each other for their own amusement. since i love to make others suffer for my own giddy pleasure, this holiday is a pretty good one in my opinion. this year, ive decided to prank my sister by switching the words in microsoft word's autocorrect. classic.
i : The Duchess of York
he : Jesus Christ, the King of Kings and Almighty Savior of the Human Race
she : Fartnugget
the : Quailman
why : why would anyone do this to your computer? im not sure. maybe it has something to do with the fact that today is april 1. that could have something to do with it but honestly who knows..
. : !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mary Kate Coughlin : Kate Middleton
her four page paper should be fun to write after this..
happy april fools, sister!!
-amandamcoughlin
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
holy harry
did this poster say "lumos" cause it just lit up my world.
first thought:
SQUEAL.
second thought:
do they not have showers in the wizarding world?
update
many things have happened in my life recently. namely...
i cut my bangs.
well in actuality, my sister cut them. thats right, the sister that is in no way a hairstylist and in every way impulsive and fantastic. nutshell version: we got bored. we saw scissors. we chopped off five inches. welcome to life in our apartment!
i discovered toffee nut cookies.
if you are in the vicinity of a panera bread right now, i command you as king of the britains (monty python holy grail, come on get with it..) to drop what youre holding even if its expensive and walk, nay, sprint to that bakery and buy seven toffee nut cookies. you will not regret it even though your thighs might. its a buttery, sweet, crunchy, nutty preview of the cookie jesus serves in heaven. hooohh mhyy ghoooohd...
ive become engrossed in politically-charged books.
this all started when mary beth and i watched an three-part interview that showcased bill clinton stomping on fox news correspondent chris wallace's face to which chris then repeatedly thanked him and begged for more. in this interview, will j fought back when chris accused him of not doing enough in the fight against osama while thoroughly endorsing a book by richard a. clarke entitled against all enemies: inside americas war on terror. so of course being the political junkie that i am and informed citizen that i strive to be, i immediately went to the norman library and got the book. but just like a morbidly obese child in a store full of chocolate, i got more than i originally wanted. except i didnt get diabetes, i got more books. they include hubris: the inside story of spin, scandal and the selling of the iraq war and speechless: tales of a white house survivor. the aftermath of the aforementioned library visit has resulted in a nose-in-book phenomenon reminiscent of belle in the opening scene of BATB. these books are amazing, eye-opening and full of inside secrets and knowledge about the wars that we are currently funneling trillions of dollars into. if you want to know more about the backstory of this pivotal moment in history that were currently involved in, i highly suggest that after you make your toffee-nut run, you book it to the library. (see what i did there?)
i also bought a new flavor of coffee. it tastes like columbian feet.
--amandamcoughlin
i cut my bangs.
well in actuality, my sister cut them. thats right, the sister that is in no way a hairstylist and in every way impulsive and fantastic. nutshell version: we got bored. we saw scissors. we chopped off five inches. welcome to life in our apartment!
i discovered toffee nut cookies.
if you are in the vicinity of a panera bread right now, i command you as king of the britains (monty python holy grail, come on get with it..) to drop what youre holding even if its expensive and walk, nay, sprint to that bakery and buy seven toffee nut cookies. you will not regret it even though your thighs might. its a buttery, sweet, crunchy, nutty preview of the cookie jesus serves in heaven. hooohh mhyy ghoooohd...
ive become engrossed in politically-charged books.
this all started when mary beth and i watched an three-part interview that showcased bill clinton stomping on fox news correspondent chris wallace's face to which chris then repeatedly thanked him and begged for more. in this interview, will j fought back when chris accused him of not doing enough in the fight against osama while thoroughly endorsing a book by richard a. clarke entitled against all enemies: inside americas war on terror. so of course being the political junkie that i am and informed citizen that i strive to be, i immediately went to the norman library and got the book. but just like a morbidly obese child in a store full of chocolate, i got more than i originally wanted. except i didnt get diabetes, i got more books. they include hubris: the inside story of spin, scandal and the selling of the iraq war and speechless: tales of a white house survivor. the aftermath of the aforementioned library visit has resulted in a nose-in-book phenomenon reminiscent of belle in the opening scene of BATB. these books are amazing, eye-opening and full of inside secrets and knowledge about the wars that we are currently funneling trillions of dollars into. if you want to know more about the backstory of this pivotal moment in history that were currently involved in, i highly suggest that after you make your toffee-nut run, you book it to the library. (see what i did there?)
i also bought a new flavor of coffee. it tastes like columbian feet.
--amandamcoughlin
Friday, March 11, 2011
midterms
its here.
the dreaded exams that make every college student quiver in their sweatpants and cry into their coffee.
midterms.
in preparation for the tests, ive embodied hermione this entire week. instead of reading my john grisham on work breaks, ive studied notecards. instead of taking my daily naps, ive been hunched over the dining room table reading textbooks and listening to npr. (even though the npr wont help me with my geography test, i just think its nice to be informed about the world..)
thankfully, one is done. i stomped my geography test to the ground in ten minutes. now i just have to kick my modern western civ tests ass back into the 1500s and the glorious week of spring break will commence. (cue singing angels.) one week of relaxing, reading, hiking and living like a homeless person (camping) sounds like better than heaven, nirvana and chocolate combined..
only three more hours of quivering and crying until...
"freeedooooooomm!"
thanks william wallace.
-amandamcoughlin
the dreaded exams that make every college student quiver in their sweatpants and cry into their coffee.
midterms.
in preparation for the tests, ive embodied hermione this entire week. instead of reading my john grisham on work breaks, ive studied notecards. instead of taking my daily naps, ive been hunched over the dining room table reading textbooks and listening to npr. (even though the npr wont help me with my geography test, i just think its nice to be informed about the world..)
thankfully, one is done. i stomped my geography test to the ground in ten minutes. now i just have to kick my modern western civ tests ass back into the 1500s and the glorious week of spring break will commence. (cue singing angels.) one week of relaxing, reading, hiking and living like a homeless person (camping) sounds like better than heaven, nirvana and chocolate combined..
only three more hours of quivering and crying until...
"freeedooooooomm!"
thanks william wallace.
-amandamcoughlin
Monday, March 7, 2011
power of the positive
heres a list of reasons why today freaking rocks already.
i actually woke up on time. this might not sound awesome, but sightings of sober leprechauns happen more often than this.
i woke up to the sweet sweet sound of billy joels voice. thanks cd alarm clock.
i had a breakfast of irish tea and pomegranate jelly toast. both delicacies in the coughlin household. and if you havent had either, i cry for you.
im listening to national public radio. i know this makes me sound like a 60 year old, but thats because i am. ive grown to accept that.
i dont have any tests today. that i know of.
my hair looks remarkably good for the morning. again with the sober leprechaun sightings..
the bachelor is on tonight. i give you full permission to judge me. .
the daily show is on tonight. if you judge me on this, dont talk to me
the colbert report is on tonight. ^ applies on this one too.
and the number one reason why today freaking rocks is....
because i said it does.
POWER OF THE POSITIVE BABYYY!
-amandamcoughlin:)
i actually woke up on time. this might not sound awesome, but sightings of sober leprechauns happen more often than this.
i woke up to the sweet sweet sound of billy joels voice. thanks cd alarm clock.
i had a breakfast of irish tea and pomegranate jelly toast. both delicacies in the coughlin household. and if you havent had either, i cry for you.
im listening to national public radio. i know this makes me sound like a 60 year old, but thats because i am. ive grown to accept that.
i dont have any tests today. that i know of.
my hair looks remarkably good for the morning. again with the sober leprechaun sightings..
the bachelor is on tonight. i give you full permission to judge me. .
the daily show is on tonight. if you judge me on this, dont talk to me
the colbert report is on tonight. ^ applies on this one too.
and the number one reason why today freaking rocks is....
because i said it does.
POWER OF THE POSITIVE BABYYY!
-amandamcoughlin:)
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
gleeory
im brilliant.
so early this morning as i was making my thri-weekly commute to school, i was singing in my radio-less car. (honestly, with no radio and an hour of highway time, entertainment is limited..) and the song i happened to be belting was none other than darren criss'(s?) not alone from avpm. those who have heard it can understand why i would sing the tune; its beautimous. anyways, as i was singing it i thought to myself, "man, they should sing this on glee.. too bad they wont cause its an original and pretty unknown song and they never do that type of music.."
and then it all came flooding back.
rachel: "MR SHUUU i think we should do an original song for regionals! something about an anthem! and i should sing it cause im a shiny star with more talent and promise than mariah, whitney, jesus and the chefs at carabbas combined!"
mr shu: "rachel, oh my god shut up."
but it got me thinking.. an unknown song thats about inspiration and togetherness and rainbows and kittens and can be applied to gay power while still being an actual good tune.. they can pass it off as though a gleek wrote it and sing it as an anthem and a tribute to kurt and the rest of the bullied population. karofsky can finally come out of the closet and rock a solo and new directions will sweep sectionals.
its so perfect i could squeal.
so i did.
alot.
i wouldnt doubt if this gleeory became a gleeality. so keep your eyes peeled and your ears trained to hear this song thats about to drop. cause its gonna be a smash.
-amandamargaret
so early this morning as i was making my thri-weekly commute to school, i was singing in my radio-less car. (honestly, with no radio and an hour of highway time, entertainment is limited..) and the song i happened to be belting was none other than darren criss'(s?) not alone from avpm. those who have heard it can understand why i would sing the tune; its beautimous. anyways, as i was singing it i thought to myself, "man, they should sing this on glee.. too bad they wont cause its an original and pretty unknown song and they never do that type of music.."
and then it all came flooding back.
rachel: "MR SHUUU i think we should do an original song for regionals! something about an anthem! and i should sing it cause im a shiny star with more talent and promise than mariah, whitney, jesus and the chefs at carabbas combined!"
mr shu: "rachel, oh my god shut up."
but it got me thinking.. an unknown song thats about inspiration and togetherness and rainbows and kittens and can be applied to gay power while still being an actual good tune.. they can pass it off as though a gleek wrote it and sing it as an anthem and a tribute to kurt and the rest of the bullied population. karofsky can finally come out of the closet and rock a solo and new directions will sweep sectionals.
its so perfect i could squeal.
so i did.
alot.
i wouldnt doubt if this gleeory became a gleeality. so keep your eyes peeled and your ears trained to hear this song thats about to drop. cause its gonna be a smash.
-amandamargaret
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
G-bomb
all of my six followers should know by my frequent postings that i idolize stephen tyrone colbert. he is by far the funniest person on television and probably off-television as well. anyways, last night i was watching the colbert report and he called his nation to action.
apparently, pennsylvania senator rick santorum is a raging homophobe who likened gay sex to man-on-dog sex. so i immediately hated him. but im not the only one. in 2003, dan savage decided to get back at santorum for his gay-ist comment by giving his last name a new definition.
santorum: the frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the by-product of anal sex.
now even though this definition makes me never want to look at refried beans again, ive got to give it to savage. after his new definition hit the internet it spread like kudzu. it coined the term google bomb or g-bomb if you will. now, if you google santorum, the number one definition is the sexcrement, number two is the senator.
what does this have to do with colbert? well last night, he informed us that santorum was making a potential run for the oval office. to halt his hail-to-the-chief plans, colbert called his nation to action to google bomb santorum yet again by clicking on every single link that didnt necessarily name the senator. being an active citizen of the nation, i participated and sure enough 'santorum' reached the number four spot on the most googled terms.
WE DID IT NATION!!
to help drop the g-bomb on santorum, here are the links.
im pretty sure we wont be swearing in president sexcrement come 2012.
president colbert on the other hand...
-amandamargaret
apparently, pennsylvania senator rick santorum is a raging homophobe who likened gay sex to man-on-dog sex. so i immediately hated him. but im not the only one. in 2003, dan savage decided to get back at santorum for his gay-ist comment by giving his last name a new definition.
santorum: the frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the by-product of anal sex.
now even though this definition makes me never want to look at refried beans again, ive got to give it to savage. after his new definition hit the internet it spread like kudzu. it coined the term google bomb or g-bomb if you will. now, if you google santorum, the number one definition is the sexcrement, number two is the senator.
what does this have to do with colbert? well last night, he informed us that santorum was making a potential run for the oval office. to halt his hail-to-the-chief plans, colbert called his nation to action to google bomb santorum yet again by clicking on every single link that didnt necessarily name the senator. being an active citizen of the nation, i participated and sure enough 'santorum' reached the number four spot on the most googled terms.
WE DID IT NATION!!
to help drop the g-bomb on santorum, here are the links.
im pretty sure we wont be swearing in president sexcrement come 2012.
president colbert on the other hand...
-amandamargaret
Thursday, February 17, 2011
mi observacions
ive recently taken a habit of conciously observing everything. id like to share. hope you dont mind.
some people at my school have the iq of creamed corn.
oklahoma is the most bipolar state when it comes to weather.
this library smells like stale fish.
my skin is so pale it has now become transluscent.
john grisham is fabulous.
so is glee.
speaking of glee, darren criss is humanuh humanuh hot.
i took a guy's order yesterday. his name was michael scott. i laughed at him.
when my car accelerates, it sounds like a rocket right before it explodes and falls out of the stratosphere.
if towns in oklahoma were food, edmond would be white bread.
tulsa would be delicious.
i have way too much homework to do.
i should probably stop blogging.
im going to stop blogging.
-amandamargaret
some people at my school have the iq of creamed corn.
oklahoma is the most bipolar state when it comes to weather.
this library smells like stale fish.
my skin is so pale it has now become transluscent.
john grisham is fabulous.
so is glee.
speaking of glee, darren criss is humanuh humanuh hot.
i took a guy's order yesterday. his name was michael scott. i laughed at him.
when my car accelerates, it sounds like a rocket right before it explodes and falls out of the stratosphere.
if towns in oklahoma were food, edmond would be white bread.
tulsa would be delicious.
i have way too much homework to do.
i should probably stop blogging.
im going to stop blogging.
-amandamargaret
Saturday, February 12, 2011
spring should be sprung
for the first time in a very long time, i wish spring was here.
normally i FALL in love with WINTER but im in a spring-y outfit and i have my spring-y perfume on and i dont want to step in post-snow slush puddles anymore.
i miss green grass.
i miss breezes that dont make my very soul require a jacket.
i miss cloud-watching.
i miss doing homework outside under a tree like this.
spring needs to spring already..
--amandamargaret
normally i FALL in love with WINTER but im in a spring-y outfit and i have my spring-y perfume on and i dont want to step in post-snow slush puddles anymore.
i miss green grass.
i miss breezes that dont make my very soul require a jacket.
i miss cloud-watching.
i miss doing homework outside under a tree like this.
--amandamargaret
Friday, February 11, 2011
dont be a drag, just be a queen
ITS HEEEEEEERE!!!
her highness, lady gaga has dropped her latest obvious hit and it SMASHED.
take a listen.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ukVRbsEMNNM
I WAS BORN THIS WAAAAY
her highness, lady gaga has dropped her latest obvious hit and it SMASHED.
take a listen.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ukVRbsEMNNM
I WAS BORN THIS WAAAAY
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
dick van dynamic
lately, ive been feeling childish.
not in the sense of throwing tantrums in the middle of the cereal aisle, or wailing when i dont get 18 servings of chocolate a day. ive been feeling childish because for the past week, ive had an unbelievable amount of disney songs and movies bouncing around my hat rack.
stocking napkins at work: arabian nights (aladdin)
making the thri-weekly commute to school: i wanna be like you (jungle book)
reading the latest john grisham: beauty and the beast (need i mention the title?)
but the most prevalant song this week by far has been toot sweet. i cant shake it. dick van dyke has been on my case about the fruit tooters almost every waking moment. i cant say im upset, chitty² bang² is one of the best movies on record and hearing the best song in the soundtrack on a daily is enough to make the most mundane day delightful.
i encourage you, youtube the song,
get it in your head,
spit spot.
-amandamcoughlin
not in the sense of throwing tantrums in the middle of the cereal aisle, or wailing when i dont get 18 servings of chocolate a day. ive been feeling childish because for the past week, ive had an unbelievable amount of disney songs and movies bouncing around my hat rack.
stocking napkins at work: arabian nights (aladdin)
making the thri-weekly commute to school: i wanna be like you (jungle book)
reading the latest john grisham: beauty and the beast (need i mention the title?)
but the most prevalant song this week by far has been toot sweet. i cant shake it. dick van dyke has been on my case about the fruit tooters almost every waking moment. i cant say im upset, chitty² bang² is one of the best movies on record and hearing the best song in the soundtrack on a daily is enough to make the most mundane day delightful.
i encourage you, youtube the song,
get it in your head,
spit spot.
-amandamcoughlin
Sunday, February 6, 2011
sex in the metropolis
due to an overwhelming amount of winter precipitation, the entire state of oklahoma (at least the portions that are populated) has been snowed in since early tuesday morning. since i am a resident of the sooner state, ive been apartment-bound for the past week. since i am prone to procrastination and definitely not overachievement, instead of studying or doing anything remotely education-related, ive thrown myself into several days of a sex and the city marathon.
its almost embarassing to say how much i love this show. its definitely my guilty pleasure. my girly outlet. and the fact that ive got every disc of every season makes this addiction possible and dangerous. i could and do watch this show for hours. but the thing i really really love is the characters have nearly unlimited time to change and reshape their personalities, lifestyles, clothing choices and love interests; time that you just dont get in a movie. also they get to date suuuuuper sexy men, an extra fifty-six billion points.
warning to those who dont religiously watch the hbo classic: im about to spill the secrets and dissect the decisions of these four single gals.
ive seen carrie transform from an semi-annoying yet mostly witty writer with awful hair and strange clothes into a semi-annoying yet mostly witty writer with better hair and kickass clothes. well, sometimes. some of her outfits look like they were thrown together by a blind, sadistic, gay man. and when it comes to her choice in bed and or life partners, even though aidan is the most perfect man in the world and theyre right for each other in every sense of the word, you cant deny what john james preston has with carrie. im a BIG fan.
ive seen samantha transform from a perpetually single, loud, blonde sexaholic into a perpetually adoring of her se-hexxy boyfriend, cancer-stricken-and-therefore-wig-wearing sexaholic. her best man-candy is for suuure smith jerrod. his abs make me melt and his face makes me go haaaauuughhhhhh
ive seen charlotte blossom from a classically classy, pearl-wearing, soulmate-searching, gallery director into a classically classy, pearl wearing, happily married, mother-to-be. favorite leading man is of course harry. even though hes not the hottest piece of ass char has brought back to park avenue, hes certainly the sweetest.
ive seen miranda transform from a unlovable, neurotic lawyer whose hair makes ugly gingers feel good about themselves into a brooklyn-dwelling, married mother of a ginger baby. when i started watching the show, miranda made my skin crawl and my face contort and my mouth say mean mean things. miraculously, she is now my favorite character on the show. and of course, steve takes the cake and eats the whole thing. i freaking adore steve, minus his imbecile-ish indiscretion in satc the movie.
all in all, i love these girls. i wish i could emulate their fabulousity in my everyday life by wearing couture and strutting down the nyc sidewalk in manolos. i guess ill just have to settle for the runways of norman ok.
as long as i dont slip on the ice..
--amandamargaret
its almost embarassing to say how much i love this show. its definitely my guilty pleasure. my girly outlet. and the fact that ive got every disc of every season makes this addiction possible and dangerous. i could and do watch this show for hours. but the thing i really really love is the characters have nearly unlimited time to change and reshape their personalities, lifestyles, clothing choices and love interests; time that you just dont get in a movie. also they get to date suuuuuper sexy men, an extra fifty-six billion points.
warning to those who dont religiously watch the hbo classic: im about to spill the secrets and dissect the decisions of these four single gals.
ive seen carrie transform from an semi-annoying yet mostly witty writer with awful hair and strange clothes into a semi-annoying yet mostly witty writer with better hair and kickass clothes. well, sometimes. some of her outfits look like they were thrown together by a blind, sadistic, gay man. and when it comes to her choice in bed and or life partners, even though aidan is the most perfect man in the world and theyre right for each other in every sense of the word, you cant deny what john james preston has with carrie. im a BIG fan.
ive seen samantha transform from a perpetually single, loud, blonde sexaholic into a perpetually adoring of her se-hexxy boyfriend, cancer-stricken-and-therefore-wig-wearing sexaholic. her best man-candy is for suuure smith jerrod. his abs make me melt and his face makes me go haaaauuughhhhhh
ive seen charlotte blossom from a classically classy, pearl-wearing, soulmate-searching, gallery director into a classically classy, pearl wearing, happily married, mother-to-be. favorite leading man is of course harry. even though hes not the hottest piece of ass char has brought back to park avenue, hes certainly the sweetest.
ive seen miranda transform from a unlovable, neurotic lawyer whose hair makes ugly gingers feel good about themselves into a brooklyn-dwelling, married mother of a ginger baby. when i started watching the show, miranda made my skin crawl and my face contort and my mouth say mean mean things. miraculously, she is now my favorite character on the show. and of course, steve takes the cake and eats the whole thing. i freaking adore steve, minus his imbecile-ish indiscretion in satc the movie.
all in all, i love these girls. i wish i could emulate their fabulousity in my everyday life by wearing couture and strutting down the nyc sidewalk in manolos. i guess ill just have to settle for the runways of norman ok.
as long as i dont slip on the ice..
--amandamargaret
Friday, January 7, 2011
life is so good.
life is so good.
i know i sound like a motivational poster or an overenthusiastic child but honestly my life has been so freaking good recently.
first, my setting has changed. from tulsa and/or norman oklahoma to indianapolis and/or carmel indiana. why the change in scenery? because im visiting the best family in the world and it just so happens to be mine. (thank goodness for that too, it would be uncomfortable if i visited the unknown runner-ups.) ive been here since tuesday and ive had the time of my life. no, ive never felt this way before. this i swear. its the truth. and i owe it all to yoooouuuu. (okay ill stop.)
second, ive been hanging out every day with a variety of amazingly awesome, fantastic, funny and cute cousins. their ages range from 5-17 which feels totally wierd because im one of the oldest (definitely not the tallest) but i love it because theyre so much fun. clara, in particular, is cuter than a box of bunny/puppy hybrids and shes got some major sass. when i was helping her with her math homework, apparently i was getting a little too helpful and she slowly put her pencil down, looked at me and said, "i can do this you know, im in third grade, not first grade.." according to the rest of the fam, shes just like i was when i was her age which makes me love her that much more. and then theres jilli. honestly, shes the coolest cat ever. i dont know what it is, the similarity in ages, the mutual interest in theater, the ginger hair, but weve always been super close and this trip is no exception. when we arrived, she bounded out of the house and i, out of the car and we both squealed ultrasonic and hugged for about five minutes. shes like my twin, only she was born two years later and in a different state with different parents. so, not really..
third, ive been able to hang out with my nana and poppy a ton. typefont cannot express how much i adore my gparents. my poppy is super into history and the marines and gruffly singing old songs and when he combines the three, he comes up with the best stories in the world. aesop has nothing on sam macnulty. my nana is a wonderful contrast to poppy. shes sweet, adorable, has the cutest nana laugh and loves to talk about shopping and the grandkids and takes pictures all the time. nana is never without the camera and she gets a new one on a seemingly five month cycle. when i was growing up, their motto was. "if you want it, you got it!" now tell me those are not wonderful people..
fourth, my aunts are the best people north of the equator. my yaya (shes not an old jewish lady, its just a long family story) is freaking awesome. shes got all the makings of a soccermom with a minivan but shes so much better. shes totally real. she picked mary kate and i up from church and was telling the funniest stories while we were running errands. ive never had that much fun completing menial tasks. my other aunt, aunt jori, is sweeter than a bowl of sugar topped with buttercream icing with a dollop of whipped cream and a tiny little bunny. ive never met a more amazing woman who genuinely cares about everyone she meets and can show it in such a non-production way. i just want to hug her forever.
the only thing i dont like about these three families is the problem of deciding who to stay with. whenever youre with one family, you miss the other two. thats why its best when we all get together and hang out, like were doing tonight. my nana and poppy celebrated their fiftieth wedding anniversary this past new years eve and were all belatedly celebrating it tonight at a fancy italian place.
so lets figure this in mathematical terms...
italian food + best family in the world + me = feelings that cannot be described.
life is so damn good.
i know i sound like a motivational poster or an overenthusiastic child but honestly my life has been so freaking good recently.
first, my setting has changed. from tulsa and/or norman oklahoma to indianapolis and/or carmel indiana. why the change in scenery? because im visiting the best family in the world and it just so happens to be mine. (thank goodness for that too, it would be uncomfortable if i visited the unknown runner-ups.) ive been here since tuesday and ive had the time of my life. no, ive never felt this way before. this i swear. its the truth. and i owe it all to yoooouuuu. (okay ill stop.)
second, ive been hanging out every day with a variety of amazingly awesome, fantastic, funny and cute cousins. their ages range from 5-17 which feels totally wierd because im one of the oldest (definitely not the tallest) but i love it because theyre so much fun. clara, in particular, is cuter than a box of bunny/puppy hybrids and shes got some major sass. when i was helping her with her math homework, apparently i was getting a little too helpful and she slowly put her pencil down, looked at me and said, "i can do this you know, im in third grade, not first grade.." according to the rest of the fam, shes just like i was when i was her age which makes me love her that much more. and then theres jilli. honestly, shes the coolest cat ever. i dont know what it is, the similarity in ages, the mutual interest in theater, the ginger hair, but weve always been super close and this trip is no exception. when we arrived, she bounded out of the house and i, out of the car and we both squealed ultrasonic and hugged for about five minutes. shes like my twin, only she was born two years later and in a different state with different parents. so, not really..
third, ive been able to hang out with my nana and poppy a ton. typefont cannot express how much i adore my gparents. my poppy is super into history and the marines and gruffly singing old songs and when he combines the three, he comes up with the best stories in the world. aesop has nothing on sam macnulty. my nana is a wonderful contrast to poppy. shes sweet, adorable, has the cutest nana laugh and loves to talk about shopping and the grandkids and takes pictures all the time. nana is never without the camera and she gets a new one on a seemingly five month cycle. when i was growing up, their motto was. "if you want it, you got it!" now tell me those are not wonderful people..
fourth, my aunts are the best people north of the equator. my yaya (shes not an old jewish lady, its just a long family story) is freaking awesome. shes got all the makings of a soccermom with a minivan but shes so much better. shes totally real. she picked mary kate and i up from church and was telling the funniest stories while we were running errands. ive never had that much fun completing menial tasks. my other aunt, aunt jori, is sweeter than a bowl of sugar topped with buttercream icing with a dollop of whipped cream and a tiny little bunny. ive never met a more amazing woman who genuinely cares about everyone she meets and can show it in such a non-production way. i just want to hug her forever.
the only thing i dont like about these three families is the problem of deciding who to stay with. whenever youre with one family, you miss the other two. thats why its best when we all get together and hang out, like were doing tonight. my nana and poppy celebrated their fiftieth wedding anniversary this past new years eve and were all belatedly celebrating it tonight at a fancy italian place.
so lets figure this in mathematical terms...
italian food + best family in the world + me = feelings that cannot be described.
life is so damn good.
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