knock knock

my brother and i have an interesting sense of humor.
let this excerpt from our text conversation prove it to you.

brendan: want to hear a really offensive joke?

me: always.

brendan: knock knock.

me: come in.

brendan: nine eleven.

me: i changed my mind. door’s locked now.

brendan: *walks away. goes next door. knocks.*

brendan: knock knock.

me: shes at spinning class till eleven. come back then.

brendan: *goes to bowling alley. plays skeeball. checks watch. 1045. goes back to house. knocks.

brendan: knock knock.

brendan: *no answer. huffs. puffs. blows the door down. finds homeowner. grabs by the shirt. stares 

into her eyes*

brendan: knock knock.

me: *sirens blare* sir, let go of that woman and put your hands over your head. have you had anything to drink this evening?

brendan: yes officer, im on PCP. *throws cop through wall*

me: backup! I need backup! weve got a 1014 here, white male, early twenties, under the influence of illegal narcotics. suspect assaulted an officer and a civilian. theres blood everywhere, its everywhere! OH MY GOD!

brendan: *rips off shirt. does backflip. punches self in the face. picks up homeowner. flees the scene. goes to hidden cave. sets homeowner down.*

brendan: knock knock.

me: there are no doors in caves.

brendan: *knocks down tree. builds door. knocks twice.*

me: in the meantime, the woman has run out of the cave screaming for help and finds two deer hunters in the woods. guns in full view, they escort her back to their cell phones before driving away, most likely to the nearest denny’s.

brendan: just answer the damn knock knock joke!!

me: hahahahaha

brendan: knock knock…

me: your knuckles must be sore by now.

me: fine. ill bite. whos there.

brendan: *holds up severed hand that hes been knocking with the whole time..*

me: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! *camera zooms in on tonsils*

its good to be back

today is the day.
no its not the first day of the rest of my life, nor is it the "day your dreams come true" (gaston from BATB i really hope you got that.)
today is the day that rehearsals begin. cue happy heart palpatations.
thats right ladies and gents, this chica is gonna be back on stage! if you remember my previous sappy post about missing the shiznit out of some stage lights, you could begin to grasp how happy my return to theater is making me. for those who arent completely familiar with my past, i used to be a theater kid. thats right, i was THAT girl. the girl who would willingly stay after school for four plus hours on a daily just to run around on stage while regurgitating lines that someone else wrote and belting showtunes that have been around for decades. that was my passion, my niche and it made me fly. after graduation, i decided for some reason that theater was a stupid passion to have and that instead of nurturing this hobby, i should discard it and only think of it on the rare occasion. this plan was not well thought out and subsequently i became super sad due to a lack of interesting pasttime. for some reason, it took me a good two years and a swift kick in the pants by my darling sister for me to realize that my theater amputation was not good for me and i should get off my ass and audition for something. later that same night, i got online and found an audition for the NEXT DAY. cue twilight zone music. call it a coincidence, call it cosmic, i call it cool. so i auditioned the next day, got a callback for the lead role and a week later found out that i got in the show as a chorus role.

BOOMSHAKAFREAKINLAKA

let me just say that im glad theres not a secret video camera in my apartment because there would have been alot of celebratory ass-shaking and whooping footage that could make for some excellent blackmail material.

so fast forward two weeks, and now were here. the first day of rehearsals. ive been dreaming about this day for the past fortnight and i can barely keep my feet from clicking together leprechaun style. tonight, ill start the staging process and meet the rest of the cast, aka my family for the next two and a half months.
so maybe this is the first day of the rest of my life.
maybe it is the day my dreams come true.
maybe its just monday.
whatever it is, it makes me happy.
and its really, really good to be back.

--amandamargaret

im baaaaack

whaddup blogosphere!
saying that "its been a while" may or may not be the understatement of the past couple months. but i do have reasons for my prolonged departure from rambling.

reason 1: my computer got the hiv.
yes its true. my little toshiba is a huge slut. she started hanging out with the limewire crowd and caught a bunch of ITDs (internettualy transmitted diseases) but before you start weeping and trumpteting a heartfelt rendition of "taps" ive got some wonderful news for you..
shes alive!
yes thats right. my computer is jesus.
and god just so happens to be a combination of avast antivirus, a microsoft cd-rom and the IT guy at my old high school. the geeky trinity if you will. so thanks to the almighty, shes up and running! albeit with a slight limp but im not here to judge.

reason 2: i kindof forgot about this thing.
ill wait until youre done gasping. i know its quite a concept to think that i may have actual shit to do on a daily but its true. and for a while, unleashing my unedited thoughts upon the internet slipped to the back of my mind. but now that my computer has resurrected and renounced her slutty ways and ive got untold amounts of energy, i think i may give this blog thing another go.

juuust not tonight. cause im being a procrasti-brat.
heres to another endless supply of nonsense words!

--amandamargaret.