school aint cool

this. is. impossible.

im not talking about skipping up mount everest sans oxygen or trying to imagine what muhammad actually looks like or attempting to raise christine o'donnells IQ above 85. no. im talking about a truly unreachable feat:  finishing my research paper.

DUNDUNDUNNNNNNN...

and before you say, "oh amanda, get over yourself. just buckle down and write the damn thing." you should shut up. because ive tried many times to sit down at the computer and let the inspiration flow from my cranium to my fingertips but then i get distracted by something. like my tapping foot. or dust. its no secret that i suffer from a detrimental case of adhd. (the moment i came out of the womb i was distracted by the shiny chrome light fixtures.) ive ingested the equivalent of a pharmeceutical warehouse in concentration medication but the side effects of jittery-ness, constant hunger and a meaner, more sarcastic personality outweight the intended effect of calming-the-eff down. so i paused the prescriptions and instead simply tried to embrace my adhd-ness. but unfortunately, with great hyperactivity comes great procrastination. because honestly, if youve got enough crazy shit bouncing around in your head and enough energy to power the state of maryland, youre not going to sit down for four hours straight and write a five page paper on the most boring topic in the world. no. youre going to make several attempts and then realize how profoundly dull it is, and instead, go outside. unfortunately, college doesnt give you credit for the amount of smiles per semester. instead they count "grades" and "papers" and "amount of sleep you can get away with in class." (actually, thats a tally i keep for myself..)

i know im going to eventually force myself to pause the procrastination and get the gears a-movin because ive got a bigger goal in mind. i want a college degree so that i can make more money and make a better life for myself. i just wish i could fall asleep and wake up four years later with a degree. or better yet, i wish i could stay awake, travel the world, hang out with stephen colbert, jon stewart and my little cousins, eat my way across the united states, italy and france, go shopping, watch suspense flicks, frequent the zoo, and four years later end up with a degree. ive even chosen my major. im majoring in life with a minor in humor.

now thats cool school..

--amandamargaret